Sue's posts with tag: family
 In about exactly one and a half days' time, I will be married. People keep asking how I feel, whether I am excited or not. Frankly, not really. Mark and I have been tired and busy with so many things to wrap up, it seems. Right now I think my poor dear is still working out the logistics list at home, while I am preparing some of the things we need to bring.I am 10% excited, 10% happy, 50% tired, 10% nervous and 20% sad. About there. Sad because I will have to leave my family, but right now trying not to think about that. Besides, I think I have been crying enough the past few months and weeks over the issue that now I feel it is time to stop crying and be brave. The little girl in Yinny Finny (my family's nickname for me) has to grow up, as all girls do. Besides, as Feng says, I am hardly leaving them. After all, our new flat is only 10 minutes' drive away and a half hour walk down the canal. The happiness comes in short waves, especially having ALL my family members reunited here for the wedding. I feel much loved, especially since I have never been the one to demand to be in the limelight. It feels rather strange. I am 10% nervous about tripping and falling down the aisle in my 2 1/2 inch shoes and long, heavy train.Am I happy? It's really not so much about happiness, I feel. Yes, I think it is exciting, all this wedding flurry and I must admit I love the pretty dresses I will be wearing :). What I can say, though, is that I have been 100% peaceful and calm. It seems to be a quiet determination I have acquired, when I look across the room at Mark, that this is indeed the man I have found to spend a lifetime with and He is the very one God has intended for me. Of this we have been sure. And thus the peace that comes, through it all, the happy, sad, exciting, nervous, tired times. The blues, pinks, purples and maybe even greens.And so when I say the vows I have been memorising, and I hope I don't forget! I will say them with a quiet and joyful acceptance that this is the path I have chosen to take, it is a solemn and serious commitment to last us a lifetime, and it is God's will so that we will learn to love one another with a love that can only come from the true Lover of our souls, and that in doing so our lives will reflect His glory and the love He has for all. May our wedding truly testify of His love.
 We spent a few hours at Mama's niche in the Garden of Remembrance last Sunday, 2nd December 2007, Mama's first death anniversary. The afternoon light gently fell, casting Mama's niche in a heavenly glow, her beautiful picture reminding us of all that she was. My godma Jee Ee read a passage from Thessalonians encouraging us not to lose heart, as we will soon all be together with the Lord. Then my mother read her tribute to Mama, and we all wept at the section when she said she wished Mama had been there to know that Chen my youngest sister had gotten into Medicine, and that my sister Shen and I were married. We ended the memorial service with a rousing rendition of "Be Thou My Vision".Time has flown, but the memories of Mama remain clearly etched in our hearts and minds. And grief, though not as piercing as when it was still new, remains just as real. All the more so for me as I often imagine Mama being there as I prepare to get married, her smile lighting up the room as she hears of all the preparations, my gowns, Mummy's cakes, and of course the jewellery I will be wearing that day.I know Mama would have loved to be here and I often wonder what God's plan was in taking her away just before Mark's proposal and the wedding preparations. But I know my Mama is dancing a waltz in heaven, and she will be one of the main people on my mind as I walk down the aisle. I certainly hope I won't trip, as that would not be befitting of the legacy of elegance and grace my dearest grandmother has left behind :) I hope I will walk with my head held high, just as my dear cousin Wayne has shared in his blog about Mama, in order to make her proud.My mother and cousin have put up beautiful new tributes in Mama's blog. You can view them at http://gwekcheng.wordpress.com/.
|  | We had a special night out the other day when Mark treated Mummy and our family to yummy Jap food at the Esplanade. Really had a good time just walking along the riverfront afterwards, enjoying precious family moments together. And the food at Ichiban Boshi was excellent! |
 I had a really wonderful birthday despite spending it half bent over in pain. God was merciful and good, as usual :). My family celebrated on Sunday with my lovely aunt getting yummy steak for us all to eat, it was a feast! And my mum made a nice orange chiffon cake.On Wednesday itself I was very touched. My mum and Mark had already taken such good care of me this wee. rushing to the A&E with me on Monday night and wheeling me around the hospital for my x ray. On Tuesday Mark came over and we watched Gilmore Girls :). The next day he came at noon - pretending to buy in food for me, but it turned out he had cooked a dish for me - Basil Chicken Surprise! Very yummy. Then he sliced strawberries to eat with ice cream for dessert :). Then I found out he had been plotting with my best friend so that they would turn up at the birthday dinner he had arranged to bring my family out to that night. I was too ill and in pain to go, though... but was so touched that they were all making the arrangements, especially since my best friend has a baby and it took lots of coordination on her part to come. So he ordered Indian food in and we all had a yummy meal. All this after he had already surprised me a few weeks earlier by pretending to go and meet his friends when he had actually booked tickets to watch the King and I! I was overjoyed. My future husband is one of great surprises :)! My sister Andrea printed photos of the family and mounted them on a frame for the new house. And I got a beautiful card from Shen, my sister in Florida.
Thanks dear :) and to everyone, and most of all to God. Am grateful for yet another year of life He's graciously chosen to give, and for each breathe that I take, it's all from Him :).
| | Mark and I spent Christmas Day evening celebrating with dinner at his uncle Wilson's home. We spent some time visiting his grandpa before that, and had a good time joking with him. Grandpa can be quite a tease if he's in the right mood! Reminds me of how Mama was with us :). He kept wanting to drink beer ;-)! Anyway, here are some pics with Grandpa, Ah Kong and Ah Ma. I'm always grateful for how comfortable I feel with his family :). And of course the food was real yummy! |
| | We had a wonderful Christmas celebration at Mama's house this year. Halfway through the night we decided to go and sing carols to the ex-inmates my parents work with as a ministry. We "invaded" a halfway house in the middle of the night! Thankfully, they were very happy to see us and we had a great time of worship together.
Mark and I were so glad we could spend Christmas in such a meaningful way. Indeed, Mama's legacy continues to be with our family as we bless others and are blessed by God's love, in His Son whose death and resurrection have made all the difference in the world. |
My cousin Fen has just put up the same video on her blog - it's the one Mark did, with the help of the grandchildren, to remember Mama's life. We showed it at the wake and service and it was a blessing to many.
Thanking God for the gift of Mama's life and of friends and family this Christmas - and most of all, for the gift of His precious Son. :) mama1.wmv (15.0 MB)
 It has been almost two weeks since Mama passed away. On Saturday, we will visit her niche for the first time. In this time, my family has been so grateful, to all those who have shown their love to Mama and to us in so many ways - in attending the wake and funeral, in sending beautiful flowers, and wishes and prayers. We are most grateful to our God, for He has been here every step of the way. He is a God who is close to the broken-hearted.
It is funny how even Mama's death has been an important platform for lessons in the journey of life for me, as I am sure it has been for my family as well. I am still grieving, something I ignorantly thought I should have finished with last Saturday, which marked the first week after her passing away. I was filled with such a heaviness of spirit the whole day which I could not explain. Though Mark was leaving the next day for a week-long working trip, I knew that though I would miss him, it could not explain my lowness of mood.
It was only when I was in Mark's home, helping him pack, that I suddenly realised how much I missed Mama when he asked me if he should get presents for anyone while he was on the trip, and I almost asked him to look out for something for Mama that I felt the great loss once again. I have realised I need to give myself time to grieve. Mark told me that it was important that I cry whenever I need to cry, and not to hold it all in in my attempt to be strong. I am sure this experience is the same for my other family members too. While we do move on and laugh and find joy in things, I am sure, especially for my aunts and uncles and my mum, there have been times where we just miss her so much - simply because, as my uncle's friends so beautifully put it in Mama's blog, she had filled such a huge space in our hearts that has now been left empty. She loved us completely and with her whole heart. And we who are left behind will always feel the emptiness, especially acute when we remember the good times with her, just how she would say things to us and just how much she loved us. So grieving must be done, and in God's own time.
King Solomon, the wisest man on earth, said in his book of love poetry that "Love is as strong as death." Song of Songs 8:6. In Hebrew, it translates to love being as strong as sheol, or the grave. Mama's death has shown this to be true. In fact, true love goes far beyond the grave.
Mama taught my whole family something very important about love. I suppose we knew it all along, but it is only when a person is gone that you can start to sense the legacy he or she has left behind. So many people said they were blessed even just attending the wake and funeral services that my family conducted for Mama, something people rarely say at a funeral. Mama's wake was as full of laughter and joy as it was of tears. People watched a video, which Mark helped to assemble the night before Mama passed away. It was a tribute to her life, and for Mama's old friends it was truly a "Celebration of Life", as the video and service were so aptly titled, as they remembered the wonderful person Mama was and the fun times they had had with her. Many were moved to tears during the worship time and as we sang some of Mama's favourite songs. God was truly present with us.
And best of all, we could celebrate because of that deep, deep assurance that Mama was not in that body resting in the coffin - that was only her earthly shell now remaining. Mama had gone to be with the Lord. No more aches and pains, no more inability to move around as she wished. Indeed, that is how Mama took her last breath. As one of my aunties was praying, and we all happened to be in her room - no one was out, or in the toilet, or anywhere else - she asked God to take Mama to be with HIm and she told Mama to let go and go to God, where she would be able to soar on wings like an eagle, something she'd never have been able to do in her earthly body. And Mama took her last breath and left us, and we all knew she had gone to be with her God.
I have always feared death, I must confess. My past experiences with people I loved dying have not always been pleasant ones. I have even feared going too near a coffin at a wake, or seeing the body resting in the coffin. Mama's death has taught me something of eternal value. I feel it was God's way of showing me truly what it means to know and believe in Him. I now understand much more what John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whosoever should believe in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life." Having the privilege of being present when Mama passed from this earth to be with God, I can now see that for Christians, death is only but a step from this world into the next, to be with our loving Creator and Lord. I have realised that eternal life does indeed start right now! We are already living in the eternal. And so there is nothing to fear in death. It merely marks an ending of our earthly life and thus a continuation of our present life in Him, except much better - to a place where He will "wipe away every tear from our eyes".
I cannot explain how much I now have this assurance and comfort in my spirit because of what God has graciously taught me in this time. I know Mama has gone to be with Him, and now I can even look forward with anticipation to death because it will mean being reunited with Mama, and most of all, with God. So Mama has left her legacy to us, in life and love, but even in her death. I can only hope the legacy I leave behind is as great and as precious as the one she left to us. It is a legacy of loving so completely and selflessly, the way she loved her children and grandchildren. And the way in which she loved life. And the gracious way in which God chose to take her to be with Him. We are truly grateful.
***We have a blog for Mama, where you can read more of her life. It's at http://gwekcheng.wordpress.com/.
Link: http://gwekcheng.wordpress.com/My cousin Wern has created a blog, in tribute to our dearest Mama. It contains the message shared at the wake service by my Aunty Yu Ling, as well as the eulogies given by some of the children and grandchildren.
 
My grandma is very ill. Her condition has detioriated suddenly over the past week. Doctor says it's heart failure, poor mama's been swollen all over and hardly eats anything at all now, though she has always loved eating so much. She can barely speak, though she does try to, with us. We can hardly discern what she's saying. She wants to sleep most of the time and doesn't even recognise us sometimes.
I want to write a tribute to her now because I believe it is always better to pay tribute to the ones you love while they are still alive, as opposed to when they are gone. And my mama is certainly deserving of such an honor. Those of you who know my grandma will know of the fondness with which I have always spoken of her all these years. Words written in a blog such as this are hardly sufficient to describe the person my grandma is.
Despite having a difficult family life, she has been strong for my mum and her siblings all these years. Many will be surprised to know that my extended maternal family has met almost every Sunday since I was born (and probably before) to go to Mama's house to eat lunch or dinner. That is of course counting those who are in Singapore. Mama has been the bond that has tied us together all these years.
Mama was born in a Peranakan family. Her father, Choo Teck Guan, was a doctor and in the first ACS class in 1914. He was apparently famous for his famous Choo's cough medicine. Ang Soh Choo, her mother, was a teacher in MGS/ RGS. I remember my great grandma as a formidable lady, in the style of the Nonya matriarchs. During the war, Mama always tells the story of how she managed to leap onto a boat in the last minute with barely a possession on her, and sailed to India. She has raised six children, nearly single-handedly, for all these years, as well as been a source of unconditional love and blessing to us, her seven grandchildren.
She has always loved us generously and lavishly, showering upon us food, jewellery and hong paos to no end, since we were young. My mama loves diamonds, you see. Her eyes sparkle as brightly as the diamonds themselves, and I remember how she used to just stare at the glittering jewels and it would instantly make her feel better. I remember a time she was very ill in the hospital, and she dreamt of heaven. When we asked her what she saw there, she said the place was filled with diamonds and that God gave her a gigantic one!
She has always had such a sense of humor and wit. We can never forget that how, on one of the first few times she met Mark, she asked him how old his grandpa was and, to my great embarrassment and horror, offered herself in marriage to his grandpa! All this of course done with a cheeky glint in her eyes.
Food has been her joy in the past few years of her life, especially. Her favourites? Durian and cream puffs and satay. It is sad for us to see how she is unable to eat much now, in her current condition.
Even though she has been bed-ridden for many years, this has not prevented her from being aware of everything happening around her. She even watched the news on CNN and warned us not to be bombed by terrorists or to go out in the rain in case we get sick. She has always had such a sharp mind.
Mama is beautiful, within and without. She was a beautiful young lady in her earlier days. In her old age, she has always had this glow and radiance about her. Best of all, she is beautiful inside. Her love for her grandchildren and children has been limitless. Even in her most worn state, lately, she still graciously thanks us for coming to visit her when we leave. She is never one to forget our birthdays and loves us endlessly, even ordering fruit to be sent to our house for a period of time. She loves buying jewellery for us and is always telling us to "Go down and eat." She was extremely skilled at baking and icing cakes when she was young, a skill she has handed down to my mother.
She has been getting along well with Mark, too, and my status in the family became subordinated to him once she had met him ;-) All she cared about in the last few months of our visiting her was "Where's Mark?" and "Tell Mark to go and eat."
It is hard for me to put into words all Mama has been to us, the way she has taught me to love life and live it to the fullest, even under the most difficult of circumstances. To always be cheerful and to give generously to my family and those I love, to always be gracious and treat others with the greatest respect. I have learnt much from her, as has the rest of my family.
And now, in the trying circumstances my family is facing, knowing she may not have long to live, we have to remain strong for Mama and to depend on God, who knows both her and us best. Would appreciate your prayers for her, that she be comfortable and very aware of God's presence with her and the angels surrounding her as she lies in bed. I know I can entrust Mama into His loving hands. Also that she live long enough to see my uncle who's coming down from Canada and my sister from Florida, in December. Also that nothing will happen this weekend when I'm away on a mission trip from 1 to 4 Dec. Just want to say that I love her and that she is forever in my eyes the world's best grandma - to me.
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